Journals61
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Devious Journal Entry
1 min read
current project: Video game, in envovling a fish who poops. I missed the day when we choose this.
Life snipt: Still living. personal life is a bit confusing. but, hey, at least I'm not pregent! ha!
oh, www.formspring.me/anotherdefau… use it to ask me anything you'd like. something amusing, something personal. whatever. or, if you just want to kill some time.
Uh, yeah, just wanted to update this. it's been a while
Life snipt: Still living. personal life is a bit confusing. but, hey, at least I'm not pregent! ha!
oh, www.formspring.me/anotherdefau… use it to ask me anything you'd like. something amusing, something personal. whatever. or, if you just want to kill some time.
Uh, yeah, just wanted to update this. it's been a while
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Helloz
1 min read
Hello! How are you?
Well, I'd like to share that I'm fantastic. I've just sent a letter to the love of my life and, hopefully we can get back in touch. Circumstances have prevented that that are out of both of our conturl.
Anyways, I'm putting alot of time into NoWearInk. and I have a number of leads that I'm fallowing. so, if anyone needs any designs or what not I'm your man! Teeshirts, logos, all that shiznet!
So that's my life, and my work. I'll share a bit of my art. I know really don't have the time to put of the volume of work that I use to, or do any big projects. but I will still try to keep things up to date. I'm going to share some textures and maybe stock photos, for page views, and to make art easyer to make.
Anyways, I Think that's it! Stay awesome guys.
Well, I'd like to share that I'm fantastic. I've just sent a letter to the love of my life and, hopefully we can get back in touch. Circumstances have prevented that that are out of both of our conturl.
Anyways, I'm putting alot of time into NoWearInk. and I have a number of leads that I'm fallowing. so, if anyone needs any designs or what not I'm your man! Teeshirts, logos, all that shiznet!
So that's my life, and my work. I'll share a bit of my art. I know really don't have the time to put of the volume of work that I use to, or do any big projects. but I will still try to keep things up to date. I'm going to share some textures and maybe stock photos, for page views, and to make art easyer to make.
Anyways, I Think that's it! Stay awesome guys.
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Team Seeker
1 min read
Yee! I'm all about team seeker!
IF you agree, I want a lama badge!
if you don't... give me one anyone.
IF you agree, I want a lama badge!
if you don't... give me one anyone.
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the most beutiful thing I've ever read
5 min read
so, in a fit of insomnia, I was checking Craigslist for design jobs. When I relized that there's no work in Maine. As late night turned to early morning, and my motivation turned to boredom, I checked misconnections. Thinking I'd find random amusement in peoples lost hopes to find that one person who smiled at the im McDollands in the mass of internet, I was only awe struck with this
"
If you only knew......
You got what you wanted. I am happy for you. But still, if you only knew how wrong you are. But you don't, do you? No, not even after I let you in my place, you didn't see it? So tell me, what did you expect to find there? Did you find it? Was it what you thought it would be? Why did you want to go there? Was it to hurt me? Or just curious?
I really thought you would see it. I did LET you in, didn't I? Why? I told you I knew, I still let you in. Why?
If you only knew......
I hate you for making me right. You made you wrong. Asshole. Happy now? But in reality I was the one that was so wrong. I am sorry, I am the asshole. I really don't know what you want if anything. You said goodbye, no? You said you didn't care, no? Are you not the one who has moved on? Are you not telling me to move on? I don't know. I just know I hate this. You are assuming to much. Or maybe I am. We both are. We are both wrong for that, assuming.
If you only knew.......
I love you. It was never my intention to hurt you. I am sorry that I did. I am sorry for us being here now and not being able to talk face to face. Because you were/are wrong. And it sucks. Not for the reason you think either. I don't care about the weather. I'm having a hard enough time in the real world, I can't play in fairytale land. I'm not interested in stories about anything. As good as they were, they were still stories. I am not trying to interfere in your plans. Secrets? No, more like a permanent shout out. Lies? Only to myself, apparently I do that alot. Being wrong doesn't make me a liar. Being silent so you can not use my words is not lying. Being passive out of fear. Aggresive when you are hurting someone else. I'm sorry for that. I should have just let it go? Maybe I should have.
If you only knew.......
I hope you are truly happy. And that you are okay. I wish I knew. I think about you all the time. Yet fear you in ways I couldn't even have imagined. You made me afraid to say anything, but I was more afraid not to, just making it worse. I feel like I should have just kept it all to myself now. I wanted to. I tried to. You made it hard to. But, I do still love you. I hate myself for that at times. And that stupid song that spins constantly in my head even though it really has nothing to do with us. If you only knew.......
If you only knew.........But you still don't know, do you?
I know you are following me. And I know you know I know it. My question is why? What difference does it make what happens to me if you are not going to be in my life? Please stop. Your directions are flawed. I want us to get past all this, and I will give you whatever it is you want or don't want. Everything except one. And regardless of what happens, I will never give you that. I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen. I only hope you can understand. But I will be okay with it if you don't. You can have everything else. I just wanted to be with you, I don't really care about the rest of it. I am sorry it doesn't matter now.
If you only knew......
"
There's other posts by this same person, and some one they are talking to (who turns out not to be the one they love) , but I think it's just about the best thing I've ever read. I'm strangely interested in the full story, even though I know I'll never read it. And I really feel deeply for this person. Almost as if there right in front of me, explaining there conflicted emotions.
It's just beautiful, and I wanted to share it. That's all
"
If you only knew......
You got what you wanted. I am happy for you. But still, if you only knew how wrong you are. But you don't, do you? No, not even after I let you in my place, you didn't see it? So tell me, what did you expect to find there? Did you find it? Was it what you thought it would be? Why did you want to go there? Was it to hurt me? Or just curious?
I really thought you would see it. I did LET you in, didn't I? Why? I told you I knew, I still let you in. Why?
If you only knew......
I hate you for making me right. You made you wrong. Asshole. Happy now? But in reality I was the one that was so wrong. I am sorry, I am the asshole. I really don't know what you want if anything. You said goodbye, no? You said you didn't care, no? Are you not the one who has moved on? Are you not telling me to move on? I don't know. I just know I hate this. You are assuming to much. Or maybe I am. We both are. We are both wrong for that, assuming.
If you only knew.......
I love you. It was never my intention to hurt you. I am sorry that I did. I am sorry for us being here now and not being able to talk face to face. Because you were/are wrong. And it sucks. Not for the reason you think either. I don't care about the weather. I'm having a hard enough time in the real world, I can't play in fairytale land. I'm not interested in stories about anything. As good as they were, they were still stories. I am not trying to interfere in your plans. Secrets? No, more like a permanent shout out. Lies? Only to myself, apparently I do that alot. Being wrong doesn't make me a liar. Being silent so you can not use my words is not lying. Being passive out of fear. Aggresive when you are hurting someone else. I'm sorry for that. I should have just let it go? Maybe I should have.
If you only knew.......
I hope you are truly happy. And that you are okay. I wish I knew. I think about you all the time. Yet fear you in ways I couldn't even have imagined. You made me afraid to say anything, but I was more afraid not to, just making it worse. I feel like I should have just kept it all to myself now. I wanted to. I tried to. You made it hard to. But, I do still love you. I hate myself for that at times. And that stupid song that spins constantly in my head even though it really has nothing to do with us. If you only knew.......
If you only knew.........But you still don't know, do you?
I know you are following me. And I know you know I know it. My question is why? What difference does it make what happens to me if you are not going to be in my life? Please stop. Your directions are flawed. I want us to get past all this, and I will give you whatever it is you want or don't want. Everything except one. And regardless of what happens, I will never give you that. I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen. I only hope you can understand. But I will be okay with it if you don't. You can have everything else. I just wanted to be with you, I don't really care about the rest of it. I am sorry it doesn't matter now.
If you only knew......
"
There's other posts by this same person, and some one they are talking to (who turns out not to be the one they love) , but I think it's just about the best thing I've ever read. I'm strangely interested in the full story, even though I know I'll never read it. And I really feel deeply for this person. Almost as if there right in front of me, explaining there conflicted emotions.
It's just beautiful, and I wanted to share it. That's all
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I'm a robot.
1 min read
**
anotherdefault: I haven't talked too /names/ dad who prob still wants to kill me. yay.
Other: so you have people you dislike too?
anotherdefault: actually no no. I like him perfect fine, I find his jokes witty, and to be impeccably reliable and honest. he just doesn't like me, at all.
**
I think somethings wrong with me. there's not a single person I don't like, I never get angry, and I eat nothing but pop-tarts.
this prove it. I'm a robot.
as a robot, I'd like to see if anyone wants to ask a robot anything?
anotherdefault: I haven't talked too /names/ dad who prob still wants to kill me. yay.
Other: so you have people you dislike too?
anotherdefault: actually no no. I like him perfect fine, I find his jokes witty, and to be impeccably reliable and honest. he just doesn't like me, at all.
**
I think somethings wrong with me. there's not a single person I don't like, I never get angry, and I eat nothing but pop-tarts.
this prove it. I'm a robot.
as a robot, I'd like to see if anyone wants to ask a robot anything?
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