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current project: Video game, in envovling a fish who poops. I missed the day when we choose this.

Life snipt: Still living. personal life is a bit confusing. but, hey, at least I'm not pregent! ha!

oh,… use it to ask me anything you'd like. something amusing, something personal. whatever. or, if you just want to kill some time.

Uh, yeah, just wanted to update this. it's been a while
Hello! How are you?

Well, I'd like to share that I'm fantastic. I've just sent a letter to the love of my life and, hopefully we can get back in touch. Circumstances have prevented that that are out of both of our conturl.

Anyways, I'm putting alot of time into NoWearInk. and I have a number of leads that I'm fallowing. so, if anyone needs any designs or what not I'm your man! Teeshirts, logos, all that shiznet!

So that's my life, and my work. I'll share a bit of my art. I know really don't have the time to put of the volume of work that I use to, or do any big projects. but I will still try to keep things up to date. I'm going to share some textures and maybe stock photos, for page views, and to make art easyer to make.

Anyways, I Think that's it! Stay awesome guys.
Yee! I'm all about team seeker!

IF you agree, I want a lama badge!
if you don't... give me one anyone.
so, in a fit of insomnia, I was checking Craigslist for design jobs. When I relized that there's no work in Maine. As late night turned to early morning, and my motivation turned to boredom, I checked misconnections. Thinking I'd find random amusement in peoples lost hopes to find that one person who smiled at the im McDollands in the mass of internet, I was only awe struck with this

If you only knew......
You got what you wanted. I am happy for you. But still, if you only knew how wrong you are. But you don't, do you? No, not even after I let you in my place, you didn't see it? So tell me, what did you expect to find there? Did you find it? Was it what you thought it would be? Why did you want to go there? Was it to hurt me? Or just curious?
I really thought you would see it. I did LET you in, didn't I? Why? I told you I knew, I still let you in. Why?

If you only knew......
I hate you for making me right. You made you wrong. Asshole. Happy now? But in reality I was the one that was so wrong. I am sorry, I am the asshole. I really don't know what you want if anything. You said goodbye, no? You said you didn't care, no? Are you not the one who has moved on? Are you not telling me to move on? I don't know. I just know I hate this. You are assuming to much. Or maybe I am. We both are. We are both wrong for that, assuming.

If you only knew.......
I love you. It was never my intention to hurt you. I am sorry that I did. I am sorry for us being here now and not being able to talk face to face. Because you were/are wrong. And it sucks. Not for the reason you think either. I don't care about the weather. I'm having a hard enough time in the real world, I can't play in fairytale land. I'm not interested in stories about anything. As good as they were, they were still stories. I am not trying to interfere in your plans. Secrets? No, more like a permanent shout out. Lies? Only to myself, apparently I do that alot. Being wrong doesn't make me a liar. Being silent so you can not use my words is not lying. Being passive out of fear. Aggresive when you are hurting someone else. I'm sorry for that. I should have just let it go? Maybe I should have.

If you only knew.......
I hope you are truly happy. And that you are okay. I wish I knew. I think about you all the time. Yet fear you in ways I couldn't even have imagined. You made me afraid to say anything, but I was more afraid not to, just making it worse. I feel like I should have just kept it all to myself now. I wanted to. I tried to. You made it hard to. But, I do still love you. I hate myself for that at times. And that stupid song that spins constantly in my head even though it really has nothing to do with us. If you only knew.......

If you only knew.........But you still don't know, do you?
I know you are following me. And I know you know I know it. My question is why? What difference does it make what happens to me if you are not going to be in my life? Please stop. Your directions are flawed. I want us to get past all this, and I will give you whatever it is you want or don't want. Everything except one. And regardless of what happens, I will never give you that. I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen. I only hope you can understand. But I will be okay with it if you don't. You can have everything else. I just wanted to be with you, I don't really care about the rest of it. I am sorry it doesn't matter now.

If you only knew......

There's other posts by this same person, and some one they are talking to (who turns out not to be the one they love) , but I think it's just about the best thing I've ever read. I'm strangely interested in the full story, even though I know I'll never read it.  And I really feel deeply for this person. Almost as if there right in front of me, explaining there conflicted emotions.

It's just beautiful, and I wanted to share it. That's all
anotherdefault: I haven't talked too /names/ dad who prob still wants to kill me. yay.

Other: so you have people you dislike too?

anotherdefault: actually no no. I like him perfect fine, I find his jokes witty, and to be impeccably reliable and honest. he just doesn't like me, at all.

I think somethings wrong with me. there's not a single person I don't like, I never get angry, and I eat nothing but pop-tarts.

this prove it. I'm a robot.

as a robot, I'd like to see if anyone wants to ask a robot anything?
  • Watching: robts ruling the world.
I sat in the rundown school talking to my friend.
"So, I had that dream again." I told him
"That one form the before time, with the snake?"
"Yeah. I don't know. when I run, I always end up back here."
"Strange shit." Some one knocked on the door.
"I got it." it was the traveling merchant. normally he came to sanctuary once every mouth or so. he tended to stop in our home on his way into town. I traded the past of my post-incident money for basic supplies. "what do you do with all this money?"
"You'd be suprized but some of the inner settlements still use it."
"interesting." We had a short chat before he left to trade more.

I sat down to play a card game with my friend. it was a tradeible card game, and me and him had been collecting the cards for years before everything went to hell. The goal was to get the players life points to 0 before you decked your self or they dropped you to 0.
We still looked for new cards wandering about in the world, but they where a rare sight.
We hadn't fished one game befor we had another knock. this time my friend got up to get it. I took this time to rig my deck.
"I think it's more for you" he said.

I got up, and it was the mayor of the town. we had elected him years ago, but never got around to another election. He was lovably eccentric, and the people seemed to like him.
"I have an idea!" he exclaimed.
"A show! We'll have a show. people from all across the way will come to see it. We'll be on the map, new trade new goods new labor. it's perfect!"
"What kind of show."
"I don't know... your the creative one. You think of something."
"Uh. I was a design consultant.... I know nothing about shows..."
"We'll you figure something out. you have one fortnight to get things together, it's going to be here, right in your school. I've already spread the word! It's going to be fantastical!"
"Thank you! I'm off to do official mayor stuff now." As soon as he left I turned to my friend.
"I think it's about time for a reelection"
  • Listening to: Repo, the genetic oprea
just the other day, this happened.…

A woman assaulted some one working at mcdollands, for Chicken McNuggets... Why would you care about something that much, enought to hurt your hand against the window.

Then there was Balloon Boy. The dad apparently sent his kid up to the attic, and faked him being sent away on a baloon, to get on reality Television

Oh, And this…

Now what odd about this, is that, he as no explanation to why he is in nazi gear... is he so drunk he doesn't know? He was described as having "disorganized thought patterns"... I'm pretty sure that's putting it nicely...

that's a few samples, but what makes the people of 2010 so crazy?
  • Eating: chips
Life is sure an adventure...

anyways, I'm not going to bore you with my life. (well, that's a lie... I do live an inserting life. Heck, Scandal, late nights out, death (a revive), getting kicked out of town, scaling buildings... and heck these weren't even my party years.)

But, I'd like to thank you for all the veiws, wish you merry xmas, or a happy holliday otherwise.

and I bet you didn't even read this.
  • Eating: chips
Life in the average day of Jake.

Wake up, contemplate what is awesome for at least 2 hours.
Eat poptarts
Shower, (Lather, rinse, make sure I'm not on fire)
Go to class, make perfect art, then delete it, so as not to insult Chuck Norris.
Get home,
Eat poptarts
Check on Zombie farm, make notes Today, 3 inhabitant escaped
Call Jack Bower, help him set up his iPod
Check devianart
Eat poptarts
  • Eating: poptarts
Hey guys, I hate to shamelessly self premote, but I also hate being broke. >.<

So; I'm posting some teeshirts for frisbee farm design, me and my parners desigh company. our website is pending, but this is the online store…

at least give it a look, (and vote everything 5!).

Right now I have Vampire, Vergin Screwdriver, Pentical, and Skull Grundge up. If there's anything else you'd like posted, tell me and I'll get right on it.

so, what do you think guys?
  • Listening to: infected mushroom
  • Watching: Dexter
  • Drinking: Apple Cider
Ok guys, I wan't to see you shine!

I'm going to run a contest; because I don't really have the fan-base to have a cash prize, or the watcher focus to be style-themed, I want to see the best you guys can do with the theme The Future.

You can be funny, witty, clever, amazing techincal work. Whatever works for you. Submistoins will be due the 17ths, I hope to have the results by the 25th This dose not mean that 17th rolls around and BAM out of time, but more or less  I have right to close if I feel I have enought submistoins. if I have the time I will submit somthing my self.

As a prize I will comistoin one work for you, and give you credit in a journal. Depending on where I am finncally I might have a cash prize or give you a print out of my gallory. I can't promise anything right now.

I will also be posting this on NewGrounds.

I retain all right to disquify work on grounds of innaproratness (remember, I'm an artist, not a dictater. so I'm going to be very loose on this)
After the 17ths, you may still submit, but depending on personal time and ammount of submistoins it might not even be seen.
Don't kill me with somthing that's going to take over an hour to load on dail up.

Thank you.
(The title was going to be enterprise, but I'm sure I'd confuse some trekys)

Me a friend :iconjurojanosik: are going to start are own design company. We are going to start out with tee-shirts and work into other avenues.  So where going to start with some design; and I think cafépress is going to be are opening market as well as local stuff.

We are also going to manually produce some shirts, but production can't start until the 29th due to banking reasons -.- (that sounds so formal, but I can't get my dept card next week), but we have a list of ideas to work with (but if you have any ideas I welcome them), and a very basic business model, I'm hoping this will take off well.

Anyways; I'll post some of the shirts online as soon as they are done. I'd love it if you guys wanted to buy them. I couldn't give you any discounts though, 1: We need to work out are profit margins and it would fuck up the math. 2: We are just starting out and we can't really afford it.

Anywho, I'm optimistic about this but wish me luck
  • Listening to: Girl Talk (Band)
  • Reading: Paperwork for somthing unrlated to this.
  • Watching: The rain out side
*A bit late but it's still sharting time!*

Ok, I started the weekend off beat bye missng my bus ride to boston and got a ride from mum, she's a pretty cool person. I got to my grandmothers house late at night, helped her a bit and selpt.

But the fun didn't start till tomarrow. I got to the train statoin from kingston to boston at like 9:40ish, and the bus didn't come till like noon. >.<

but it was ok. some one kept me company. we had a bit of a race to get to the con and I totally won! I came ready with T ticket from my last venuture to boston.

I talked to some one else who I swore had a brishs accent but she was from a small town some where. I don't recall.

Anywho skip a few...

Creep 30 year olds. ARE CREAPY Frist off, why is anyone over 25 at a AnimeCon? He was hitting on me and on of my ConFriends (Tm), WAY more on my friend. who was a crossplayer. But he was all like "So. Do You Like Yowi?" and I was like "uh. Depends? they do have good plots."

but WAY more over my ConFriend. Like Goosing, and pretty much asking "will you fuck me?" so I was like "This is Lewy, my Boyfriend."
and he backed off pretty quickly.

I got some sodas and shared them... Talked to some of the artist. And yeah. Spent some money on Rave Gear (Googles+Medical mask... You'd be jellous Kyrle. But you out do me in every sense of raving as it is!)

Raved with TrainGirl (calling you traingirl is more coherent to the reads. I'm not trying to be inpresonal), enjoyed that.

Got Locked out of my hotle because they headed in early so I wactched the sunrise with. wasn't as pretty as I thougt it might be, city air I guess. I spent the night with some ConBuddys. Slept a few hours like 6-8 or so. walked around. No one I knew was up that early.

That's half the story. I sleep now.

Also I need to blog about the more design programs I got.
  • Listening to: TV
  • Reading: Papers
  • Watching: TV
  • Playing: With Poser
  • Eating: Chips
  • Drinking: Soda Water
homes just another place to hang your hat. lucky for me, that place is back in maine.

oh, no, don't get me wrong. I liked boston. I like my relatives. and I liked the schools I saw. but it's nice to see everything that I'm so use to seeing.

The city was nice, I saw this one homeless person, but like they where perfectly still, and they where looking down with a hood, so I thought it was just like a manican he it had a sign that said like "help old kemore" or somthing... but as I was heading for it, he moved and I jumped like 2 feet. It was intresting so I gave himn my pocket full of change.

Last night was a bit of an advuture. I was in a book store looking at design books (I bought Typography Workbook. yes. I BUY text books! Crazy huh?). and I asked the book store person what time it was, he said 4:55 (my bus left at 5:15). I said "Oh, shit." and ran down two flights of eslators, but couldn't run trough the revoling doors... I ran down a block and a half to get to the train satoin just as it was leaving.

I then talked to some one about painting.

I caught the next T, and it was cram packed. we stopped off once, and I had a catch to sit down as an lawyer (Or law student. he was dressed very nice, had an expesive watch and read a book on reisate law) got off. I stepped up to check the map when they said a block name I didn't remeber from befor. I was going outbound instead of inbound.

I stepped off the train, and saw that homeless person again. I asked him if he happend to know where I could geet to North Satoin. and he told me that I was wrong track. so I moved over to the right one, an got on the right one. it was crowned but not pact, I took the T, when to where the Red Line meets the Green Line, ran to the red train, and /just/ caught it. some one had to hold the door for me. I had 3 bucks, and 30 for the ticket, and my T card was all out, with one more stop to go untill I was at the bus staion.

I ran, I ran untill my legs pumped battry acid, and my heart explouded every time it plused (carrying a duffle baf and a soft-breef case). and then I ran some more. I made it to the staion just as the grey hound bus was leaving. but it stopped at a red light a block down the street. I acought up to it and knocked on the door. the driver openned it.

"is this the bus going to brunswick?"
"Can I get on!"
"do you have a ticket" No. I had planed to buy it at the satoin.
The light turned green.

and he left.

I had too pee, and I smelt of really bad BO form the running. I wanted to go the the bathroom take of my shirt and spray some axe on me but the stalls where full. one guy was like there ALL the time, even went I went again to fill up my water bottle.

I went to the grey hound bus counter. but no one was there. the computer says the next train leaves 6am tomarrow to brunswick. I wounder if I have to spend the night sleeping in the statoin just to get home.

I had 3.75 dollars. and 3 phone calls. I called my aunt, but her phone wouldn't ring frist (and the pay phone didn't charge me.) I called my house and asked them if they could check if any other trains left to bruswick. but the phone ran out of time befor my brother could check on his dail up connectoin. but my phone call ran out befor I could. I called my dad, but he didn't pick up.

I had 75 cents left, and phone calls cost a dollar. I tryed calling collect but the phone would tell me "This number is univaible to pick up collect calls." I was screwd.

The grey hound bus person was back. I asked where they where, they said the bathroom (I remebered the person that was sitting in one stall for like the intire time... jessum eat a bran muffin once in a while). I got a 8:15 ticket to portland

then I saw it. in the corner of my eye. a quarter. face up too, must be a lucky one. I called my house, and my sister picked up. I told her that I missed the bus, and that I could take a rid into portland, but some one would need to pick me up at 10:30. she said she'd tell mom.

I took the the bus, and headed home. not knowing if some one would pick me up or not. I read my typgoraphy book but it was hard to read, it had be a long day.

I get to the portland bus stain at 10:10, and wait. lights go out at 10:20, the person working there asks if he can help me with anything. I tell him thatnks for asking but I'm wainint for a ride.

my mom comes picks me up, and I head home, and, the frist thing I do?

Sing Small town girl on a karaiko machine.

Then, I sleep.
  • Listening to: Love Song
  • Watching: Homestarrunner
  • Playing: CoD 4
  • Eating: Mufin
  • Drinking: tea
Right now I'm in mass, and it's nice to leave the pinetree state for vacatoin.
I for got my camrea, and I don't have photoshop. so you'll have to live with out my AMAZING art. and just a journal instead.

Last night I saw a really cool pink floyd cover band, pink voyd. and if anyone has a chance to see them. do it. it was really cool. they had an intese laser show, and high productoin, and everythong. and like, for alot of it I just forgot everyone else was around me and I was just watching and hearing them play. it was amazinjg.

I got an autographed poster I'll show you guys some time. I also talked to all the band members. I know the lead guitarist has a secound job. so apprently they don't do epically well, but they should!

they where really cool.

anyways, after that I saw a kind of corny but interesting move called Wizards. it's new-world postapocaplyic moive about elfs vs war techlonogy. it was kind of corny, but starngly intresting. there was heavy WW2 imagery.

My plans for the day are to see my grandmother, and babysit some lil' uns.
  • Listening to: Pink Floyd
  • Reading: Wikipeida
  • Watching: Homestarrunner
  • Playing: CoD 4
  • Eating: Mufin
  • Drinking: tea
  • Listening to: Infected Mushroom
  • Reading: A design book on text
  • Playing: CoD 4
  • Eating: Peanut butter
  • Drinking: juice
I'm sitting in an award assembly. My best friends tuning out playing Fire Emblem. and my other friend is blowing a noise maker when ever some one wins somthing. More for the sake of making noise then cellibrating.

"And, now in advirsing design,"
If I only did just a bit better... I could have won somthing. and I knew it. I had miss placed a logo, and typoed the title of the advirsement... It was bloody brillent.

"The brownse goings to Jake Chendel" (yes, they typoed my name)
I'm shocked, I hadn't expected to win anythign. My noise making friend tells me to get up there and I do.

I walk behind the stange, and shake the hands saying "good job guys."

Standing up on the poundem, I think "I could have done better," as I get the metal.

I also got awarded some scholerships.

My DS playing friend got gold, and some one else

Anyways, you'll see what I worked on, but I'm not getting it untill this monday. and I was up against advertising sutdents form all around the state (and there was 12 of them). And I'm just a commerical art student (witch is a mcuh boarder class, and dosn't focus on adverising). I was also told that a bronse in this compitoin was worth way more then a gold the other design contests. because it's a much harder complitoins.

Oh, this was skillsUSA. I'd show you a picuter of me in a bronse metal. but that'd be protentois as fuck
  • Listening to: Infected Mushroom
  • Reading: A design book on text
  • Playing: CoD 4
  • Eating: Peanut butter
  • Drinking: juice
So; I just goind out that DA lets you as custem text to your homepage. and guess what I did...

so just give it a look and tell me if you like it?
Okay, I'd like to give you all fair warning.
There is A LOT of swearing, and it's pretty much a "We have a ceamra, let's make a moive!" kind of thing.…

The derect linoe wont work so you'll have to click on 'to my valentine'

Enjoy it, I'm the character with the death note shirt, and gray sweat shirt.

I hope you all had as fun of a valentines day as I did.
  • Listening to: C-pan
  • Watching: A moive!
Uh oh